Who I am as A Communicator

EDUC 6165-Wk4

Assignment: how I evaluated myself as a communicator v.s. how others evaluated you.

My Results 

• Communication Anxiety Inventory:  – elevated- “feeling uncomfortable in several communication contexts”

This does not surprise me because I do not feel comfortable in large public speaking places. I freeze up and begin to forget everything I had to say

• Listening Styles Profile: – people oriented

I do like to be around family and friends that I know. I also do small gestures to people I may pass and not know, such as smile or say good-morning.

• Verbal Aggressiveness Style -moderate- “You maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding the position”

I do find this surprising because sometimes I do feel myself attacking the other person unfairly.

Their Results

Their results were the same, however, our numbers were different. I did find it interesting that others view me the way I view myself. I do not really hide my feelings or anything so I guess people I know can see that. I wonder if people I do not know can see just as much as they do?

Communicating Differently with Different Cultural & Groups

Assignment: Think about the cultural diversity you see in your colleagues at school, in your neighborhood, in your workplace, and also, possibly, within your family. Consider all the aspects that make up culture, including race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, varying abilities, and so on.

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?
• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?
• Three strategies to communicate more effectively with people or groups

I do find myself communicating differently with different cultures and groups. I think we unintentionally do this because of what we assume we know about those cultures and groups of people. For instance, I was always so afraid to curse in front of my parents or call them by their first name. My dad did not ever like me calling him by his first name, I guess because it was a sign of disrespect to him.

Another example is when we change our tone of voice. For instance, when I speak to a representative to help me with my credit card or an order, I speak calm, proper, and clear to make sure everything. Another example would be how we speak when we are around gay and lesbians. Sometimes you feel if you say something it will offend them in some way

Three strategies to communicate more effectively with people or groups:

1. I believe we need to really try to understand one another. “Social decentering is a cognitive process in which you take into account the other person’s thoughts, values, background, and overall perspective” (Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, 2011, p.111).
2. Try to not say anything offensive, judgmental, or make assumptions.
3. Listen to one another and share things about yourself as well.

Reference

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.Chapter 4, “Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others” (pp. 85–114)

EDUC 6165–Verbal & Nonverbal Communications

No Sound

I decided to watch a show called “How I Met Your Mother”. The show started off in an apartment with two people in the bathroom and two people outside the bathroom door trying to listen in. The two in the bathroom come out and kiss then the girl leaves. The couple, who was outside the bathroom listening in, gave the guy a high five and spoke to him. The guy smiles but walks away.

Assumptions — I assume that the two in the bathroom were fighting and the two outside the bathroom were listening in. It looked as though they made up and she had to go. The couple, who was listening in, seemed happy for him. But the guy looked kind of sad and walked away as if he was not happy with what happened.

The scene then cuts to three weeks later where three guys and one girl, are at a bar and a lady joins them at their table. The girl who came with the guys grabs the guy’s arm and smiles while talking to the girl. The guy smiles and the other two men are weirded out by something said.

Assumptions — It seemed as though they were relaxing at the bar and then this girl joins them. The lady who is in a relationship holds on to her boyfriend as to remind the girl like “yeah he’s mine” (sorta)

It then cuts into the couple being home and the guy is ready to go somewhere but the girlfriend does not seem to want to go. One of the guy is in the bar and walks up to a girl, seeming confident, who happens to be the girl who joined them before. When he finds it is her he gets upset, however, they still talk to one another. Then the last guy is in a cab with a girl and go home together.

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Sound

             The couple in the bathroom just met and are taking things slow. I thought they were in the bathroom trying to resolve a conflict that occurred. However, since they just met and were in there for two days, the other couple asked him if he got her number and he says no.

3 weeks later—in the bar the three guys and the girl talk about how the guy needs to wait three weeks for sex. The random girl comes over to tell her friends that something got canceled so she can hang out with them tonight but the guy said he had a date with the girl he just met, the couple says it is their nine-year anniversary—while holding his arm. The couple says they are going to the maple syrup harvest and the other two guys make a face like that is a stupid get-away trip for an anniversary.

The couple is then home and the guy is telling his girlfriend if she is ready to go. They give reasons why not to go and decide to stay. The girl who joined them at the bar earlier is on a date with a girl and teaches the guy, her friend, to see what the girl looks like by looking in the bar mirror. The last guy is in the cab with the girl and they are talking about having sex in a week. The guy plays it off like he did not know and girl says, “oh c’mon”. She remembers she would not be around on the 18^th so they decided to have sex tonight.

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Overall Assumptions

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

By the looks of it, I guess there is one couple and one guy who live in one apartment. There other guy friend is trying to find someone to get with. These friends also seem like they tell each other how it is because of the face expressions. While one says something with a smile another makes a weird reaction to it.

• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I do not know this show at all. Therefore, I do believe if I knew the show better my assumptions would be more correct.

Competent Communication

For your blog this week, think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

One person who demonstrates competent communication is my friend. She is very compassionate and dedicated to teach. She is able to communicate well with parents about situations that occur in the classroom, explaining our program to visitors, and even communicating with coworkers.

I want to model some of her communication behaviors because she thinks out side the box. For instance, coming up with ideas to encourage parents to involve themselves more in the school community and their child’s life. She also takes the initiative to speak up to the principal and other program leaders to communicate her problems or resolutions.